Space Cowboys

Yesterday, President Obama spoke to NASA officials about his cancellation of the Constellation Program. He urged NASA to forgot about the moon and shoot for landing on asteroids and Mars. My initial reaction was of disapproval because I think it is important that we continue to be pioneers in this area, but after a little bit of thinking, I have come to the conclusion that if we start chasing asteroids, we could witness the real-life ARMAGGEDON!

I know what you’re thinking. Is he really going to rant about how great the movie Armageddon is again? Damn right I am. Bear, Rockhound, AJ, Sharpe, and the crazy-ass Cosmonaut, get ready! It’s round 2!

Look, people thought landing on the moon would be impossible, yet we did. So, I got to thinking. Ugh, I hate when reality sets in. The moon and an asteroid are apples and oranges. Let’s evaluate. For all intents and purposes the moon is relatively stationary. It takes 28 days for the moon to orbit the earth. Speaking of 28, an asteroid can travel at a rate of more than 28,000 mph (400x the speed of sound). Seems a little impractical, Mr. Obama.

But wait! After a brief fact check, I found that the Helios I and II can travel over 100,000 mph! THE DREAM IS ALIVE! I can hear Steven Tyler warming up his vocal cords. “I could stay awake, just to hear you breathing…” Sorry, I got a little wrapped up in the moment.

All I’m saying is, if the U.S. is going to be gallivanting around the Milky Way playing space cowboy, we should get Michael Bay to film this and Truman should be directing the mission from Houston, just for cinematic effect. Hey Jesus, could you do me a solid and bring Harry Stamper back to life. I just don’t trust AJ with all this responsibility.

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE…I DON’T KNOW WHEN I’LL BE BACK AGAIN…