Making A Difference: A Little Goes A Long Way

Most of us go through life basing our successes or failures in life on our grades, salaries, whether or not we made the varsity team, etc. Rarely do we weigh our achievements on our impact on the people around us. Do our families, friends, or co-workers’ lives benefit from our contact, or would they be better off if they never met us? Quite an interesting question to ask one?s self. My interactions with others have not been detrimental; yet I question if my influence has produced lasting, positive results.

I watched the movie Freedom Writers a few days ago and couldn’t help being moved. The movie was based on a true story of an inner-city English teacher who defied the odds and brings together a class of students of which no one gave a chance. Because one person cares enough to not to give up on a group a students, she was able to get those students to perform to their true potentials.

So much good can happen from the slightest pinch of kindness. It doesn’t take a Herculean act of generosity to make a different in someone’s life. Sometimes it?s a simple “hello” to the gentleman in passing or holding a door for an old lady. Sometimes people just need to be acknowledged so they don’t feel as if they’re walking about this planet alone.

I went to Borders last weekend to see if I could find Ben Franklin’s autobiography. I’ve been reading up on the Founders as of recent. I’m not quite sure how you roll, but for me, going to a bookstore is an outing. I don?t recall ever being in a bookstore for less than an hour. So, I stopped by the coffee shop to grab an Americana. I greeted the cashier with a warm “hello…how are you doing today?” She paused for a few seconds before letting out a hesitant mumble. Snapping back to reality, she explained that she was not accustomed to being asked about her wellbeing. She said it made her day. Flattered and confused, I paid for my drink and began my book search. What seemed like a routine gesture to me meant a great deal to someone else.

Maybe it’s a new day and age or maybe a consequence of technology, but there seems to be a disconnect between us all. With twitter, email, and facebook rewriting the way we view communication, we are losing the value of a face-to-face meeting or even the ?intimacy? of a phone call. I’m guilty of this, too. I’d be the first one to slap you if you snail mailed me a letter. First of all, you wasted a perfectly good 42 cents on a stamp and secondly, I had to wait for two days when the same message would have hit my BlackBerry instantly. However, it is worth saying that there is a level of awesomeness associated with receiving a letter or phone. It makes you feel special, appreciated.

Here is an assignment for you guys this week. I tried it for myself last week and had some cool results. Here’s what I did: I said “hello” and asked “how are you doing?” to every single person that I came in contact with. It’s rather awkward at first especially in crowded places, but you get used to it. While most give you the “why do you ask” look, most are glad you asked. In a rare instance, I found myself in a half-hour conversation with a World War II veteran in the soup aisle at Wegmans. He was a great guy and for those 30 minutes he could forget about his aches and pains, his late wife, his lonely life. As time past, you could see the excitement welling up in his face. Someone was actually listening to him; someone who actually cared about what he was saying. He wasn?t just the old guy passing time until his Maker called.

Try it! If you have an cool stories, shoot me an email at info@kylestilley.com .. I?d love to hear them.