A Crypt Through Memory Lane

This morning I was in Philadelphia for a funeral. Morticians and graveyards are the only ones who welcome death, but I’ve always felt at peace when laying the dead to rest. Funerals put life into perspective and although they are reminders of what’s been lost, they are further reminders of what still remains, life. When we observe and respect the fragility of life, most of life’s petty annoyances seems to be just that, petty. The smallest things cause us to lose focus on life’s important things. “Yesterday is gone, tomorrow’s not promised…today’s all we got!” was the message echoed throughout the pastor’s eulogy.

The internment was at Eden Cemetery, America’s oldest African-American-run cemetery. More importantly, the grounds hold the remains of many of my relatives including my paternal grandparents, great aunts, and cousins among others.  After my cousin was interned I had a chance to visit my grandparents’ graves and it was a rather surreal moment. While the tone of the conversations was jovial and my cousins joked and told stories about them, all I could think of was whether they would be proud of person I am and am I doing all that I can to be a accurate representation of who they were?

While it’s true that I need to create a individual legacy for myself, I owe it to those who came before me to live my life in a way that honors them. While I cannot give my grandfather a hug or kiss my grandmother, I can honor them through my conduct and behavior as one of their heirs.

Old Hickory: An Evening With Andrew Jackson

Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson was the subject of a History International biography last night.  My fascination with Andrew Jackson was spawned way back in fourth grade.  As a fourth-grade student, we were only taught of Jackson’s military exploits including his thwarting of the British Army at New Orleans in 1815.  I would learn of Jackson’s political legacy and his involvement in western expansion later in life, which would further cement his place as one of my favorite presidents. 

Mr. Johnson, i.e. my fourth-grade teacher, was a war buff.  He ate, slept, and breathed war stories.  It’s no surprise that other than reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, and Penrod, the only thing I remember from fourth grade is Mr. Johnson’s war maps.  Everyday after returning from lunch, Mr. Johnson would have a battlefield drawn on the blackboard and would direct us through the battles of the American Revolution, the War of 1812, and so on up to and through the Civil War.  By the way, these were not your run-of-the-mill drawings either.  Most of them spanned the length of two full-sized chalk boards.  They were color-coded and even shaded to distinguish changes in elevation.  There were casualty indicators which signified the concentration of lives lost at a given position on the battlefield.  There were specific details of the movements of the troops, commander strategy, etc.  Fourth grade was the first time I remember actually being excited about learning.  This may have been because I had the coolest Trapper Keeper EVER!! Just Kidding.  Thank you, Mr. Johnson. 

What I love most about Andrew Jackson is his respect for the American people.  The 1820s brought in a new era as eligible citizens were able to vote for their electors, rather than state legislator choosing them.  “The Hero,” as Jackson was dubbed after the Battle of New Orleans, became wildly popular after his victory against the greatest military force in the world.  He was often billed as the second coming of George Washington.  In 1824, he had no intention of running for president, however after a public plea; he allowed his name to be considered for nomination.  Even after his wife passed away weeks before his inauguration in 1828, his dedication to the American people transcended his person grief. 

Although Jackson is widely blamed for the Trail of Tears, where Indians were force out off of their lands and forced westward, leading to the deaths of thousands of Native Americans, it is important to recognize the positive accomplishments as well.  There are many of Jackson’s political stances that could have positive, widespread effects on our nation today.  As aforementioned, Jackson was a people’s president and he lead accordingly.  Almost single-handedly, he was able to dismantle the Bank of the United States and furthermore accomplish something that no president, past or present has been able to, pay off the national debt.  Jackson believed in a minimalist government that gave power to the states rather than a controlling, centralized government.  Jackson was unable to accomplish was the abolition of the Electoral College or remove term limits, Jackson chose the Washington model, resigning after two terms.   

Andrew Jackson is a polarizing character.  He was known to many as liar, a murderer (from a duel in which he killed a man), and a brawler, but he always go the job done.  His militia didn’t name him “Old Hickory” for nothing.  He was tough as nails on the battlefield and that same flinty demeanor translated to the political pulpit, once telling South Carolina’s official that he would hang them all if they dare secede from the Union.  They believed him.  More importantly, he was a devout Christian later in his life, a loving husband, a great politician, and surely worthy of the distinction, “American Badass.”

Cool Facts: The donkey that Democrats use today as their mascot harkens back to Andrew Jackson.  His opponent referred to him as Andrew “Jackass.”  Deriving humor from this, Jackson used the symbol and later it was depicted by a cartoonist.

Andrew Jackson’s last words, were “I want all to prepare to meet me in heaven…Christ has no respect for color” According to the documentary, A witness turned to his housekeeper and asked “Do you think Andrew is actually going to heaven?” The housekeeper replied, “If Mr. Jackson wants to go to heaven, who’s going to stop him?”

Making A Difference: A Little Goes A Long Way

Most of us go through life basing our successes or failures in life on our grades, salaries, whether or not we made the varsity team, etc. Rarely do we weigh our achievements on our impact on the people around us. Do our families, friends, or co-workers’ lives benefit from our contact, or would they be better off if they never met us? Quite an interesting question to ask one?s self. My interactions with others have not been detrimental; yet I question if my influence has produced lasting, positive results.

I watched the movie Freedom Writers a few days ago and couldn’t help being moved. The movie was based on a true story of an inner-city English teacher who defied the odds and brings together a class of students of which no one gave a chance. Because one person cares enough to not to give up on a group a students, she was able to get those students to perform to their true potentials.

So much good can happen from the slightest pinch of kindness. It doesn’t take a Herculean act of generosity to make a different in someone’s life. Sometimes it?s a simple “hello” to the gentleman in passing or holding a door for an old lady. Sometimes people just need to be acknowledged so they don’t feel as if they’re walking about this planet alone.

I went to Borders last weekend to see if I could find Ben Franklin’s autobiography. I’ve been reading up on the Founders as of recent. I’m not quite sure how you roll, but for me, going to a bookstore is an outing. I don?t recall ever being in a bookstore for less than an hour. So, I stopped by the coffee shop to grab an Americana. I greeted the cashier with a warm “hello…how are you doing today?” She paused for a few seconds before letting out a hesitant mumble. Snapping back to reality, she explained that she was not accustomed to being asked about her wellbeing. She said it made her day. Flattered and confused, I paid for my drink and began my book search. What seemed like a routine gesture to me meant a great deal to someone else.

Maybe it’s a new day and age or maybe a consequence of technology, but there seems to be a disconnect between us all. With twitter, email, and facebook rewriting the way we view communication, we are losing the value of a face-to-face meeting or even the ?intimacy? of a phone call. I’m guilty of this, too. I’d be the first one to slap you if you snail mailed me a letter. First of all, you wasted a perfectly good 42 cents on a stamp and secondly, I had to wait for two days when the same message would have hit my BlackBerry instantly. However, it is worth saying that there is a level of awesomeness associated with receiving a letter or phone. It makes you feel special, appreciated.

Here is an assignment for you guys this week. I tried it for myself last week and had some cool results. Here’s what I did: I said “hello” and asked “how are you doing?” to every single person that I came in contact with. It’s rather awkward at first especially in crowded places, but you get used to it. While most give you the “why do you ask” look, most are glad you asked. In a rare instance, I found myself in a half-hour conversation with a World War II veteran in the soup aisle at Wegmans. He was a great guy and for those 30 minutes he could forget about his aches and pains, his late wife, his lonely life. As time past, you could see the excitement welling up in his face. Someone was actually listening to him; someone who actually cared about what he was saying. He wasn?t just the old guy passing time until his Maker called.

Try it! If you have an cool stories, shoot me an email at info@kylestilley.com .. I?d love to hear them.

Delusion vs. Reality: A Revision

While sifting through my unconscious phantasmagoria (you’d know what this meant if you were following me on twitter…http://www.twitter.com/stillz) trying to conjure up a relevant interpretation or lesson, the light bulb flickered on. Last night prior to my forty winks, I blogged about the association between delusion and reality (read it here: http://bit.ly/cWgXGe) ultimately concluding that our happiest times are when we are absolved from reality.

There’s a Psalms (30:5) that says “but joy cometh in the morning light.” When I opened my blinds this morning the light from an overcast sky filled the room with energy, with hope. Yet another another delusion. Why do we avoid reality as if it will cease to exist if we just close our eyes a little longer. A drunk tries to drown his sorrows as if the pain he’s harboring won’t exist in the morning. When Thomas Hobbes said that a man’s life is “nasty, brutish, and short,” I absolutely agree with him, yet that reality is what makes being alive genuinely amazing.

Reality excites us. It’s unpredictability leaves us on the edge of our seats everyday. The reason we work as hard as we do is because life is short and to accomplish our goals in such time requires a certain ingenuity. Because the world is nasty, we need passion in order to fight through life’s unabashed gauntlet of trials, tricks, and deceit. Ironically, what I love most about being alive is facing these trials, tricks, and deceptions and making it out alive. That’s true happiness. Living to 25 years old makes me happy. The reality of my three vehicle collisions and two totaled cars makes for one hell of a story. In high school, I fell asleep behind the wheel and drove into a 15-foot ditch, yet I’m still here. 7,000 people die each hour around the world, yet I’m still alive to talk about it. What makes me truly happy is that I have the opportunity to look into the eyes of this “nasty, brutish, short” life and punch it in the face. In the end, we all succumb to its power, but in the merited fight we find accomplishment, in which we find happiness.

The government wasn’t designed to help you.

03 November 2009. I threw on a suit and was off to the polls to vote in the midterm elections. My father always dressed up to vote and so I follow in the tradition. There is something special about election Tuesday. It could be the trees changing colors or the cool fall breeze. It might be the adrenaline rush of patriotism that rushes through my veins. I am fulfilling my civic obligation to this great nation, and amongst the growing apathetic masses, I am distinguished. Voting has always been a serious issue for me because people sacrificed their lives (and are continually doing so) that I might have this right. It is my tribute to them. To not do so would dishonor their memory.

The previous election prior to this Tuesday was the historic election of Barack Obama. It was quite the spectacle seeing so many people out to vote. I waited nearly 20 minutes to vote, which in the small suburban town in which I reside was quite a significant amount of time. Fast-forward back to this fall’s midterms. Walking into the polling center, passed the placards in the lobby, much to my chagrin, there was only one other voter present. With a wry smile, I greeted the attendant and jokingly asked if it had been a slow day. She replied, “this has been our biggest rush.” Those words have resonated with me since then.

I couldn’t understand why such fervent consideration and participation was put into the voting process of a presidential election, yet such lackluster effort….

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The World Before the Internet

Earlier tonight Phillip DeFranco (www.youtube.com/sxephil) posed this question in his webshow: “What would the world be like without the internet?” After mustering up a few clique answers, I began to think. We have no idea what the Internet actually is.

Furthermore, the internet that currently exists will inevitably evolve to the extent that what we know as the internet today will look completely different than its present form in the next 5 years. Not only the physical appearance will differ, but the way companies interact and the way the consumer functions in the web will be as foriegn as the web was in the early 1990’s.

What makes the internet and “web culture” so fascinating is the lack of conventional structure. The internet evolves at a rate that under normal constraints would be unsustainable, however with time the public perception of the web will also evolve. And when that happens people will realize they have something they never thought they could have…control. Businesses that refuse to hand over control to their consumers will be replaced by those that diligently seek out their customers needs and provide services that cater to those needs. The internet levels the playing field between corporations and their clients.

Let me a comment here

The following are TED lectures I came across this morning.  This first, a synopsis on “the flip side of everything,” is delivered by Derek Sivers.  The second, expressed by Dan Gilbert, is a discussion on principles of synthetic happiness and how it is undervalued by “authentic” or “natural” happiness.  Enjoy.

email comments to info@kylestilley.com // follow me @stillz

A laconic remark on the Tebow Ad.

All the controversy over this so called “anti-abortion” Super Bowl ad led to one of the most anti-climatic moments in Superbowl commercial history.  For 3 weeks, “women’s advocacy groups” (in quotations because they don’t protect all women, just those that are pro-choice) have been on the attack, blaming CBS for agreeing to show controversial ads during the Superbowl.  Having not previously viewed the commercial, they blamed Focus of the Family (which, for most intents and purposes, is a very conservative organization) of spewing hateful propaganda and depriving women of their freedom of choice.

I’ll let you decide if the ad warranted such attack:

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Poor John

Fabio Capello, manager of the England Nation Football Team, issued a statement last week relieving John Terry of his captaincy following the news of his infidelity (full article: http://tr.im/MYT9).  Terry, ironically named the UK’s “Dad of the Year” last summer, had been the English skipper since 2003.  Fabio Capello certainly has proven himself as quality manager (winning four titles for four different team including a Champion League title with Milan), but his decision to sacked Terry as captain is quite shocking giving Terry’s performance as a footballer and as a leader.

Furthermore, with the World Cup looming just months away, one can only wonder how this will play on Terry’s psyche.  While former England Manager Graham Taylor believes fans and players tend to “overstate the importance of” the captain title, Terry may suffer a short-term lull in performance, which may give the United States the edge they need to knock off the Brits on June 12 in the World Cup opener.  Granted, John Terry is strong player, both mentally and physically, however it only takes one mistake to prove fatal.  On the international level, teams pay a hefty price for their mistakes.

John Terry is probably one of my least favorite European footballers.  Partially because he plays for Chelsea and partly because of his drunken spat several years back where he harassed grieving American tourists in the aftermath of 9/11.  Regardless of my predisposition, Terry is a proud man and one hell of a footballer which I do respect.  However, any advantage that the United States can exploit should be considered in order to leave the opener will 3 points.  Doing such would be a gigantic step in moving through to the round of 16.

Email comment to: info@kylestilley // Follow me @stillz